Exploring the Unknown

Exploring the Unknown
Representing the 99%!

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Breastfeeding Babies - A Dad's View

Photo © Meet The Fockers
Whether you happen to be Robert De Niro donning fake breasts and attempting to breastfeed his grandson in 2004's "Meet the Fockers"or like the majority you are just an average 'Joe' uncertain of what, if anything, you can do to help your wife whilst she is breastfeeding there are nevertheless things that every father should be aware of. There are inevitably two camps about breastfeeding. There are those that think it is not necessary and than there are others who think it is essential. There are hundreds of books available for women and men stating pros and cons to each side. Thus the purpose here is not to reiterate what has already been written so many times but rather, just as importantly, to discuss what YOU as the father can do to help make whatever decision your better half chooses to make as easy as possible.


The Importance of Understanding


Tips On How To Avoid Looking Like An Ass
GrOw SoMe NuTs!

Meet Hector Cruz
Photo © IANTB
The choice to breastfeed (or not) is a very personal and difficult choice both emotionally and mentally as it is physically on your partner's body. Regardless of her decision she is undoubtedly going to experience physical discomfort in her breasts for if she decides to breastfeed she will experience pain around her nipples and in her breasts generally as they become engorged with milk. Furthermore, should she decide not to, keep in mind she will still experience engorgement and this could cause severe discomfort for up to a week, sometimes even more. The fear of what people think, be it positive or negative are very much a part of what makes or breaks a successful try at breastfeeding. The guilt of giving up too soon or indeed feeling resentment for having to wake up several times a night, every night to feed the baby, are all very real aspects of every day. The key here is to be as supportive in as much as possible.

Photo © PB
Thus, as you can see, there is no easy way out for your partner. It is a decision that she is going to have to make for herself and one that will require most of all your understanding. Despite the fact that you may feel left out of this decision process, especially as female friends and family members will undoubtedly be trying to look after your partner whilst giving you a quizzical looks as to why or what you can do to help, remember that at the end of the day when all is said and done and they are not around you are the only person your partner has to turn to.

Photo © IANTB
You are there when she wakes up at all hours of the night, sometimes in tears over the pain she is experiencing during those pivotal first few weeks of breastfeeding; you are the one that has to comfort her and bring her ice for her breasts so to help ease her physical pain; and you will be the one that will be there as your partner discusses with you her doubts, fears, and anxieties over the whole concept of breastfeeding. That pretty much makes you somewhat of an expert over what is best for your partner, perhaps more so than anyone else for you are the one she is going to be relying on the most even if it doesn't seem that way at first.

Building Bridges


Photo © PB
Unfortunately it never dawns on most men that it isn't about 'fixing' their partner's problem per se but more importantly, that they be there for their partner simply by listening to them. This involves more than just nodding and smiling. Instead, it requires that you actively take a role in your partner's life without being invasive. What is it that your partner is trying to say? What does she need right now? Is she afraid? Is she asking you directly for something that would help her? If so, what is she asking you for? How can you encourage her? Are you supporting her enough? How many times during the day do you tell her how wonderful she is and what a great job that she is doing?

Photo © PB
These may seem like obvious and simple tasks that require little effort but unfortunately it is often the little things in life that are neglected, especially if you are already feeling like you're being left out of the equation. Furthermore, it is not enough to simply be there for your partner but as well you have to allow her to be there for you! By sharing your feelings and thoughts in a constructive and open-minded way you will only strengthen the bond that you have created with your partner. By expressing your interest in helping your partner during this important time in both of your lives you are helping your partner feel supported. Equally as important you are bonding with your new little biker! For further information check out Project Breastfeeding!

11 comments:

  1. My job as Dad was to suck breast milk to help keep Mom's breasts from getting too filled. Mom told me this was standard procedure so I complied.

    Edit to say not sure if it had anything to do with biker perspective. I think most men, riders or no, like to suck tittie. Huh?

    RoadKing

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  2. Funny!

    Actually, it has everything to do with the biker's perspective. I am starting a book project, something that focuses on fatherhood, yes, but with an angle. Bikes. Being both, I have faced discrimination for many years because of the way I look and because, well, I am a dad.

    The latter has been experienced in both Ireland and to an extent, here in Quebec. I'd like your perspectives on what it means to be a dad. The article above was written in 2007, pretty old, but then I didn't know how else to start the conversation.

    That being said, I completely agree with your point.

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  3. really good article. My wife bf'd all of our kids. It just made since in all ways so there was never a question of it. turned out to be really great for bonding and just relaxing in general.

    I see it as the best thing for a baby is to be as close to naturally intended as possible. At the same time I see nothing wrong with those who avoid it completely. But to us breastfeeding is perfect, and natural. as well as a benefit of FREE! which is always helpful with new babes. I think we might be turning into hippies a bit as we're about to have our 5th(AND FINAL I SWEAR) baby. and are planning a home birth with nothing more than a midwife.

    LIFE IS EXCITING!

    blastedmedia

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    Replies
    1. Thank You! I also agree wholeheartedly. Congrats on the new baby.... trying to sneak a fourth in too but my wife has gotten wise to me...

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  4. I am pro titty.

    franktiregod

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  5. I was breast fed till I was 18, I'm all for it.

    darkryder

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  6. My wife breast fed both my kids. It is clearly better for the kids' immune system than any formula. It's nature. I do NOT like women breast feeding their babies in public, though. Give me a break. I don't want to sit in a restaurant with some lady with a boob out and a kid suckin' away. Very bad manners. Breast fed babies at home or a private spot.

    Tabasco

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    Replies
    1. Even if she has a scarf or something covering the baby's head and hence her breast? I ask because its been my experience if our baby wants num nums there is no putting it off, not at least without some acoustic cries to add to the ambiance.

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  7. I don't mind a boob hanging out if there's a baby attached. Baby's gotta eat too, and darn it they grow up too darn fast. Savor the little things. They'll be getting their driver's license soon enough.

    jonnycando

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